THE FOUR SEASONS OF HESTER STREET
A magic realistic musical play written in 2021

In ‘THE FOUR SEASONS OF HESTER STREET’ we discover a year in the life cycle of Lepkele, Louie for the friends. A little boy growing up on the Lower East Side prior to the first World War.  

This tragic comedy filled with magic realism and original so-called Yiddish ‘five- penny’ songs is inspired by historical research on the era.

Lepkele’s family, life in the tenements, as well as the Jewish gangsters populating the streets, are our main characters. The surprising end hits home as it is pandemic related.

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Written and dedicated to the memory of my grandmother, who passed away from Covid alone in her retirement home, disconnected from her loved ones.

 

This play was supported thanks to the generous support of the Schusterman Foundation and the Yiddish Authority Israel.

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THE FOUR SEASONS OF HESTER STREET is a four-act play for a big ensemble cast with the option of actors playing multiple parts. This musical play ideally includes dancers and a mixed chorus as well as small or big musical accompaniment, depending on infrastructure.

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For more information about the play & cast requirements contact: dramacoach.noemi@gmail.com

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THE FOUR SEASONS OF HESTER STREET

ACT 3, SCENE 14 REPEATERS

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

So, for the election, do we understand each other Sammy? Whenever they vote with their whiskers on, you take them to a barber and scrape off their chin fringe.

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SAMMY THE PIMP tries to interrupt him throughout the monologue

But...

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SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Pssst! Listen. Then you vote them again, with sideburns and mustache. Then to the barber, and off come the sides and you vote them a third time with the mustache alone. If that ain't enough, and the box can stand a few more ballots -and we all know it can stand a few more ballots. Clear off them mustache and vote them plain-face. This makes every one of them good for four votes.

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

I understand that this works with the Irish, but…

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Aaaaaahh! The Irish! We coop them, just like chickens! Always thirsty those damned Paddies. We beat them into a cellar, lock them up, get them drunk to stupefaction, and on election day… On election day they crawl out one right after the other like ants to the election booth to cast their ballots and then we promise them more whiskey and off they crawl again, to the next election booth a few streets further till they pass out and wake up days later in their own shit. Damned Irish! Good repeaters! Great investment!

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

We only have one issue with the local demographic, Mister Alderman. We are Jews.

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

What? Jews don't drink?

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

Jews don't shave!

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

I need a return on my investment Sammy. I need the Jewish vote.

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

I understand but...

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Sammy, your business with the girls is going well, mmm. Tammany Hall is taking care of you mmm. Sending clients in. Keeping the police out.

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

Yes, yes. Tammany Hall has been very, very generous.

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

We wouldn't want rumors going around.

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

Rumors?

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

There could be worse things going around…

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

Worse...

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Worse than rumors… yes… Syphilis

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

No!

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Yes!

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

No!

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

The pimp needed the politician and now the politician must have the votes.

You must return the favor.

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

I understand.

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Do you?

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

Mhhmhh

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

So, how big of a problem do we have Uncle Sammy? How impossible is it for a Jew to shave? Really? I am a Jew. I shave. You get me my votes.

 

SAMMY THE PIMP

Yes. Yes.

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Maybe we could ask them nicely? The poor are the most grateful people in the world.

 

SAMMY THE PIMP to audience

If people could hire others to die for them, the poor could make a nice living.

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Hey you, come here. Waves Blum to come over with a dollar bill in hand.

To Sammy: Like politics, all crime is local.

To Blum: Hi friend, this is your lucky night.

Hands him the dollar bill. Blum takes it and puts it away.

Fancy a drink? A cheese sandwich?

 

BLUM shaking his hand

Blum. shakes hand Good evening Sir.

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SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

Silver Dollar Smith, Alderman of the 8th ward.

 

BLUM

I know who you are.

 

Silver Dollar SMITH Knips his fingers and NURSE comes up with a plate of cheese sandwiches. Blum takes one by one and puts them in whatever pocket he has and eats meanwhile as well. NURSE also gives one to LOUIE who is watching from the side. He eats as he watches the scene unfold. 

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

My friend and I are having a discussion. An argument if you will. He swears a Jew will not shave his beard. Do you believe that?

 

BLUM

Yes!

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

You are a Jew my friend?

 

BLUM

Yes!

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

I am a Jew too! But a shaved Jew!

 

BLUM

A gangster.

 

SILVER DOLLAR SMITH

An Alderman… a saloon keeper… a gangster…eh, I dabble... Come on, every Jew is for sale. How much for you to shave it off? How much is God worth on the Lower East Side?

 

SAMMY

Blum! making clear  to Blum not to pursue this

We could also just dress them up, change hats and leave their beards be. You will still get 3 or 4 votes out of each repeater.

 

BLUM

Too bad your whores can't vote, or Tammany Hall would win 3 to 1. If grandma had a beard she would be grandpa!

 

SAMMY trying to hint him to stay out and that this is dangerous

A goat has a beard too, and it is still just a goat.

 

Dr Reinhardt is coming closer with his suitcase. Magic realism sequence is about to take over. This is Louie's imagination going wild again.

 

DR REINHARDT

Maybe I can solve your problem gentlemen. I was going to retire for the night after a drink and this delicious cheese sandwich, but I could not keep myself from hearing about your predicament. Luckily for you, tonight is your lucky night - you will see with your own eyes- as Mozes saw in the desert the burning bush burn, a miracle!

Let me introduce myself, Dr. Solomon Reinhardt, traveling salesman, scientist, and physician, "a good doctor for a good people". And I happen to have here my traveling sample case filled with elixirs, ointments, tonics, and lineaments: A miracle cure for each ailment, efficacy guaranteed! I just happen to have arrived tonight in town from a long and perilous journey back from ...

 

BLUM

The Wild West?

 

DR REINHARDT

Flushing. Where I developed in collaboration with a famous and erudite 100-year-old Jewish Rabbi, not a cream, not a soap but this magical white powder that eats away both the most rebellious and pious of beards, leaving you as clean-shaven as the day of your brit milah, but without the use of scissors, razors or even a blade. I give you... The Kosher Shave!

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BLUM SILVER DOLLAR SMITH AND SAMMY THE PIMP

The Kosher Shave!?

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*all rights reserved, can not be read or performed for an audience or performed without permission.